My Inner Paula Deen

Not exactly what a band-er needs to be cooking. But oh my gosh I love to make fun food.  Who can resist Goblin Chocolate Cake Balls? Mmmm...They were a thank you to high school kiddos that were so nice when I was a substitute teacher.  I love subbing.  Or should I say I love subb-ing in the high school.  I am not feeling the love at the elementary level.  Those teachers should make a six figure income with what they have to put up with every day.

As for my lap band journey. I fell off the wagon and indulged in the land of good and plenty and ate "plenty" of the wrong things.  These past few months.  Today, I met with my doctor and we developed a PLAN OF ACTION that I think is do-able. I went in today for another fill and so far so good.  I also have started losing weight again. (Per the weigh in at the doctors office.I have been avoiding the scale like the plague) whooo hooo!  People have FINALLY stopped asking me how much I have lost. They can probably tell I haven't lost any or just got tired of asking and me saying...I am at a plateau.  Either way, I am very happy that they stopped asking. 

With the new teaching gig I got to purchase some new clothes. That was fun since that I am in a smaller size now.  Unfortunately, they stretched a bit and I should have purchased even one size smaller.  If I stay on track, I won't be able to wear them for long.  What a great problem!  

I am thinking of running the SANTA RUN this December to stay motivated to exercise.  I also got this silly flyer in the mail about a gym doing a $12.99 per month deal.  It is "for reals" because one of my friends took advantage of it...so I am too.  Gyms are probably one of my least favorite places.  But for $12.99 (less than a meal) I can't resist.  I talked to the owner and he said he did it because another gym in town was going to do it so he beat them to the punch and offered the special deal before them.  I don't care who did what first..I just want the great deal.  

To finish off my blog...I couldn't resist another food creation. I made them for my daughters Varsity Volleyball Team tourney.  We are the Eagles. (If you couldn't tell)

Hugs to all...Deb

About Me...for the fellow Boobs

Title: BOOBs 2011 Fun Facts!

1. How did you pick your blog name?

Well...I think by nature I am a bit Ditzy...and kind of dizzy...I have an inner ear disease and so that naturally makes me hearing impaired and a bit balanced challenged.  Which can be quite funny. I find myself laughing at myself all the time.  What I hear and what people say are not always the same thing so hopefully most of y’all will have as good a sense of humor as I do about it...I guess I chose the name so that I would view it as a diary and not so much a blog.  

1. When did you start blogging?

When I decided to have the surgery...Not long.  I am TERRIBLE at it.  I don’t blog regularly and I have never shared it with any of my face to face friends. My hubby has never even read it!  

1. Theme of blog (weight loss, finances, beauty, etc)

Probably mostly weight loss...struggles...insecurities...oh my gosh, I sound so depressing.  I may start writing about cupcakes...something more fun!

1. Did you go to BOOBs 2010?

No.

1. When were you banded?

January 25, 2011

1. How much have you lost?

Not much...35lbs...I am not a good loser.  Still learning and changed doctors for more help with using it as a better tool.  Still love the nectar of the Gods, Sweet Tea.  

1. What are you most looking forward to at BOOBs?

Meeting gals that are like me.  And enjoying being around people that have the same struggles, success, and getting out on my own a bit. I live mostly for my family. Whom I ADORE.  But I find I put them FIRST and rarely do “me” stuff. In fact, the big question from hubby and my own momma is...are you really going to be able to travel on your own?  Are you kidding me? I’m 43!!!  But, I have not been out and about on my own since being married. How weird is that...(18 years folks).  I want to laugh and be silly.  Bring out that inner goof ball.  And not be worried about my size and what everyone is thinking.  

1. What/who do you hope to find/see/accomplish at BOOBs 2011?

I wanna do the things I wanna do. I was in Chicago this past July for a volleyball tournament on Navy Pier and all I saw was the inside of the gym for 4 straight days. The only thing I got to do was ride a boat and the ferris wheel (and I had to do both of those without my daughter because she was playing) 

I wanna make new friends..find out their secrets.  Win a prize because I know there are always prizes. giggle! Wear a fun outfit.  Laugh at something naughty.  Learn some new eating tricks.  Find a fun bestie from another state.  Take a 1,000 pictures. Eat something new.  Walk a million steps.  Meet some of the fantastic bloggers that are my Blog Idols.  Love Drazil...she is the most amazing writer.  Love Steph Joy...she inspires me to do better...

Oh my I could go on and on!

1. Children? Pets?

I have one Daughter (giggle! I love her to pieces...She is the cats meow.) We have a dog named Hunter. He is a yellow lab that is lazier than me.  He also is afraid of the water. Maybe that's why he was a cast away at the shelter. And we have a cat named Maisy Mae. Who is the biggest cuddler in the world.  She looks like a mini cow. 

1. Who is your roomie?

Someone I have NEVER met.  How awesome is that?  Her name is Rebekah (love the spelling of her name) and Angie.  I have only talked to Rebekah but she is friends with Angie.  So I am sure we will have lots of fun.  They are younger than me so hopefully they will keep me up past my normal bedtime. 

1. Hobbies?

Photography....I have a website of some of my work...www.tickled-pinkphotography.com.  Who has time for hobbies when you have a teenager?

1. Career?

Domestic Goddess...keeper of the home.  CEO, taxi driver, chef, cheerleader, maid, volunteer, wife, mother....

1. Single? Married? In a relationship?

Married...18 years. 

1. Your birthday month?

August

1. What do you want other BOOBs to know about you?

I can be silly.  Spontaneous. Love trying new things.  Seeing new things. Have a bit of a dare-devil side to me.  eeek!  Looking forward to meeting all of y’all!

D

To Go Or Not To Go...the 25th Reunion

Well friends I had to make the decision to go to my 25th high school reunion.  And being a bit fluffy I was feeling a bit intimidated about the whole deal.  No one likes to be the fatty at the reunion...but I rested in comfort knowing that people don't judge me now (and are my friends) in my current state of fatness.  So, I put on my big girl panties (literally) and decided to go.  I actually had a pretty good time.  I took a few friends (including my daughter).  It was an open outdoor event with 4 schools in our district attending and it was open for multiple graduating years.  It was a public venue and I knew the people in the band so I took my entourage (of courage) and we actually had a great time and I was able to introduce my daughter to some of my best high school friends.  I actually allowed for my picture to be taken!  Good gravy what is the world coming too? I just want to say with my new badge of courage, I am ready to meet all of y'all in Chicago!

Happy hugs friends,
D

Hotter than HELLo Kitty! Finally a PIC of ME

Now that is one hot tamale and I am not talking about ME!  It would be one thing if we lived in Arizona or some desert hell but no, we live in Missouri.  You would think with all of the sweating I am doing I would be losing weight.  But my fingers feel like small round sausages.  My dear daughter wanted me to lay out with her today by the swamp.  (my pool) I am not feeling the swamp calling my name today.  It is a light shade of green.  Almost looks like toxic waste.  And it is like bath water.  

I went to the store today and got all the goodies the dietician suggested to make my band "my friend".  I have to wait until the 11th to get it squeezy tight again.  So right now I could probably eat a big mac just fine.  Not that I really would want too. I imagine I would vomit it up just from my body saying NO WAY JOSE.  In fact, when we are traveling I have tried on several occasions to eat McD just to be easy with the family and EVERY time I throw it up.  Wonder if anyone else has that problem. It's like the makers of the LAP BAND put some sort of chemical in it that makes McDonalds come right back up.  But I can eat a Krispy Kreme Kruller.  What gives I wonder?  

I saw a post that said we need to post more pics of ourselves so y'all can get a better idea of who they are looking for.  A friend of mine took some pics of us at dinner.  Not great clarity but enough you get the idea.  I hope one day to be in the front of the picture instead of always using my family has the human shield.  Like people don't know I am fat...my goodness.  It just feels so natural to be in the back...hiding.  I can't wait to pose like my dear daughter does.  Hand on hip and big ol smile on her face.  All 5' 10 1/2 inches of her.  And she still is growing.  I digressed.  

I want that picture standing next to her...proud...not judging myself for my belly or double chins (notice I said chins).  I am a photographer (semi-pro...) and I love being BEHIND the camera.  And I get so frustrated with clients when they talk about how "fat" they look.  I never see it in other people.  Just myself.  I see happy family moments and I don't focus on if they have a double chin or what not.  Why can't I do that for me???  I'm ready for that confidence.  Bring it on "lap band friend"!

So here you go folks...a pic of me and my family...(and I am not sure what happened to my husbands eyes.)

Love,

D

Sometimes You Just Gotta Ask for Help

I just love reading some of y'alls blogs..so full of life and energy.  Especially those of y'all that have reached your goals and are having the time of your life with the energy that you need to do all the things you want to do.  Sometimes I get so jealous.  Isn't that crazy?  I feel like such a loser because I haven't met the goals I set out to reach by now.  Most of it is because of my own bad choices.  I know...and some of it is I have not become "friends with my band".  Whatever....

So I reached out to someone that I don't know very well and they actually came through.  Most primary care doctors usually don't listen but my doctor did.  And I got a very uplifting phone call from a dietician and she offered so much support and is ready and willing to walk me thru this process.  It's like my doctor that did my surgery was really gung ho to do the surgery but the follow-up is not really his deal.  And so I get fills and un-fills and fills and un-fills just kind of flailing about with my weight yo-yoing all over the place.

I really feel confident that I am going to get back on the right track.  I don't know why...but I just feel like I was thrown a life jacket.  And I have been trying to keep up with the local "boobettes" that I will get to meet in Chicago.  I am very, very excited.  It is like things are finally maybe gonna click for me.  Yipeeee!  Skippeeee!

And it is going to be 107 degrees tomorrow!  Holy Monkeys..will the weather ever be "normal"?  My pool looks like a swamp right now.  Green and SLIMY.  YUCK!!  With that I decided a new form of exercise at the urging of my dear daughter.  Really...what was she thinking? She probably wasn't thinking...All she has on her mind is driving.  (Dear Daughter is on the right..with her best friend that got her license the same day).

With all the butt kicks, mountain climbers, suicides, jumping jacks...I lost the oxygen to my brain. (I guess I thought if I could survive riding in the car with her that I could surely handle Shaun from INSANITY.)  I had enough after 20 minutes.  I told my hubby that our dear daughter had suggested this.  He laughed. I told him that I was going back to the fake people on the Wii. Even though I feel kind of stupid racing a plastic looking weeble-wabble.

But on a positive note, I got rid of the dizzies...it was just a temporary set-back with my inner ear disease.
Thanks for all the good vibes that came my way.

D

The Dizzie's STRIKE AGAIN!!

After all of this fabulous support I have been receiving I have been on the band wagon and logging all my foods on this groovy site called My Fitness Pal.  I love the feature that says...if your days look like this you will be this weight in 5 weeks or something like that. Love that!!

But alas, I have the dizzies again.  I have this crappy inner ear disease that loves to rear it's ugly head when I decide to "make a change" I am not kidding. It happens EVERY time.  If there were some way I could fool it and not let it know.  So off I went to the ER because they want to rule out stroke, heart attack etc...none of which I had.  And some weird infection called mastoiditis.  Something in the inner ear.  I have a shunt in there and maybe it can get clogged up or something. I dunno.  Anyway, so I spend the WHOLE morning and afternoon in there.  They give me an anti-biotic and some sort of anti-inflammatory via my buttocks and valium.  Which I have taken...and it does seem to be helping some.

OK. I am wayyyy off here but what I did after the hospital was have my mom go to Panera and get me some of that good mac and cheese.  I'm feeling kind of guilty but I did log it and I still have calories to spare.  It's just that mac and cheese is one of my comfort foods and when I got sick I turned to the easy peasy decision.  AGAIN.  Will I ever learn?  So folks...I'm swearing off mac and cheese for a while.  You read it...I'm sticking to it!!!  I am going to treat this blog like a confessional of sorts.  Imagine us sitting in a box and I am telling you the food sins I have committed.

Thank you dear friends for listening.  And if any of y'all do like to pray, I would ask for one to heal my inner ear again..without the need of more surgery...I will see my ear specialist tomorrow.  Until then..friends...I am off to sleep.

Dizzy Deb

THANKS! The REAL DEAL EXPOSED!

Holy Monkeys!  I wake up this morning and see all these fabulous BOOB friends have sent me messages of encouragement.  Oh my goodness.  It was like one big virtual HUG that I was not expecting at all.  I have a new surge of energy.  Weighed myself and I am ready to make that scale go down...little by little. And I loved KiKi's honesty about where she is in her journey.  I have to keep that in mind that I was on my way up before surgery...and not down.  And I am wearing clothes that I have not worn in 2 years.  Which is a huge NSV in my book and it keeps me out of the stores shopping.  I get to go shopping in the clear bins in the bottom of my closet. giggle.  

But at the same time I really took an inventory of why I am where I am and maybe my feelings of disappointment are with the choices I have made.  Ones that have kept me from the sweet success I wanted to feel.  And I don't like what I see when I really get real with it all.  I feel the need to get honest with y'all who have been so nice with your comments that I feel guilty that y'all feel bad for me.  I really don't deserve all your kindness but I APPRECIATE IT SOOOO MUCH! That it's time to GET REAL with myself and lay out my dirty dishes so the company can see them.  

(No one likes Dirty Dishes in their sink with company comes. giggle)

DEB'S DIRTY DISHES EXPOSED

1. Calories (I guess I thought I would not have to worry about em anymore because I was going to be eating so much less.) BIG OL' LIE.  Super yummy homemade mac and cheese...slides right on down with the 1 stick of butter I add to it. Which makes it a DELISH DISH. And FULL of calories. Even if it is just one cup. 

2. Exercise (Vacuuming my pool does not count even if it does take an hour.) 

3. I replaced Sprite with Sweet Tea and Sonic Strawberry Lemonades (all empty calories but they don't get stuck and give me feel good vibes..at least that is what I have been telling myself) HUGE LIE. Gasp!  Could it be I am addicted to SUGAR?  No way Jose!  Get off the bus Gus!

OK those are the biggies fellow BOOBS.  So no more feeling sorry for the fat girl.  Let's get busy and rock this weight off the right way.  This band is a TOOL.  I have been using it like a screwdriver when I really need a hammer.  (Screwing myself with bad choices instead of hammering the bad habits out)

Thanks to all of you for lifting me up and making me get HONEST about this crap. I can only be disappointed in the choices I have been making.  And it can work right.  If I treat it right.  She (the band) has helped me lose 30+ pounds when I treat her right.   I hope y'all know how much you have encouraged me in just one night.  To get real.  I owe each one of y'all a huge ol' hug and I will see y'all in Chi-Town.

Lots of love to all,

D